Thursday, August 20, 2009

So, untimely fuck-ups happen.

ONCE UPON A FUCKING TIME...

There was this supercool chick I know (me). Her friends invited her to this party and she declined. She went to work the next morning feeling no remorse or regret because she didn't attend said gathering and instead slept a full eight hours before her 8 am shift the next morning.

Now, because this is real life, not reel life, the above story never actually happened. Instead, I took a plunge, liver first, into a lukewarm pool of alcohol and shame, resulting in the most undignified moment(s) of my life, ones that I will always regret and never live down. Without going into detail, I'll just say that everyone there knows how I kiss, everyone there could recognize my boobs, and everyone there knows what I sound like when I fuck.

They called me the makeout train. Really? Really?!

So I get home around 6:30am. Awesome. Gotta be up by 7 to get to work by 8.
I was still drunk when I drove to work. I went into hangover mode mid-shift. Congratulations, kid. You fuckin' champed that day out. Round 2? No thanks. My tongue and my vagina have apparently had enough. Either I'm going celibate or I'm going sober. In all honesty, I probably won't go either way. I just never learn.


So this is my life; allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Allegra. I'm currently 19 years old, working two jobs and going to school. I live in Florida and have little to no beliefs (apart from hedonism, of course). I listen to relatively decent music and I like to think I'm a cool person to be around. Alcohol and I have a love-hate relationship, similar to The Odd Couple, but without the Hawaiian shirts. I started a blog because I have a lot on my mind and feel it necessary to share my exciting anecdotes/warnings/feelings with the rest of the world. This is where I'm at in life.


Welcome.

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