The Art of W(h)ine Tasting

(Sip, spit, please do not swallow your words)

I feel it necessary to provide a disclaimer, as this will be one of my least funniest posts. Ever. I like to keep the feeling light and humorous most of the time, but it has recently been brought to my attention that I am exactly nowhere near where I thought I would be at this point in my life.

I had a plan, see?

I had a plan to be moved out by the age of 18. I would have a fabulous job where I was making real money, and I would be living a rather peaceful, if not bourgeoise, lifestyle. While I recognize that this isn't necessarily a realistic approach to my life, as I got older I realized that there is a thread of hope in my 300 thread count sheet of a heart. Clearly, I am nowhere near obtaining this goal anytime soon.
And I am extremely disappointed in myself.

I have been brought face to face with my reality, my adult life. I have absolutely no means to live on my own. My car is in my parents name, I am still a student, I do not make enough money to support myself, and I have absolutely no solution to this problem. I am extremely worried about future Allegra.

"You can't support yourself!"
"How are you going to go to school?"
"You don't know good you have it here, Allegra."
"You're not mature enough to live on your own."
"You're not responsible enough to live on your own."
Duly noted.

But I need to be. Not because I have it so bad living with my parents. I love them! I love the advantages I have living with them! But I'm not satisfied. I'm 19 right now. What's going to happen when I'm 20? 21? 22? 25!? I'll admit it; I'm scared. Terrified, really. I'm terrified of becoming accustomed to this lifestyle; the lifestyle where I'm 65% dependant on my parents (more like 90%, because I currently do not make the money I was making a few months back). I can't pay my own car insurance, let alone a credit card bill. I'm destroying my credit everytime I pay late, which I have to, because the gas to get to and from work and school takes precedence over my bank.

I'm afraid of my life. I'm afraid for my life. I have absolutely no clue what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it, and I feel like this is where I'm going to be stuck for a very long time.