It has come to my attention that, while my posts may be offensive, insightful, boring, or hilarious, they've left an impression on my readers, giving them a very altered, biased view of who I really am. I'm now making a mental note to include a little bit more of who I am in what write, rather than my opinion or how I'm feeling and blah blah...blah.
To begin, I'm a young woman who has made some mistakes in life, the most prominent clearly being my lack of sexual judgement. I've always been a very intense person, with a very broad view on many aspects of life, here and thereafter. I'm not particularly religious, therefore my values may be a little skewed. I don't necessarilly see that as something to be ashamed of, rather, it's something I appreciate about myself. I don't hold myself to the normal standards of society. I make mistakes because that's how I learn, and that's how I grow. The common idea is that if you step out of line, you're a bad person. If you loathe, lust, want, take, swear, fight, or in any way disturb the peace, you're not welcome.
I don't believe that at all. In fact, I believe that the sins we commit today will shape us into the person that will govern our society tomorrow. Everything, everything, everything comes at a price. You cannot teach good without knowing evil; you cannot feel love without ever feeling hate. Our sins create us; our sins craft us.
Once upon a time ago, there were political struggles between man and beast, white man and black man, white man and the foreign man, man and woman. While I cannot say that these issues have all been overcome, we have definitely stepped into the right direction, and closer now that ever to where anyone can stand on the scale of justice and be held equal to the man (or woman) on the other side.
With time, comes change. With change, comes new struggles. It is impossible to let go of our innermost working, our basic instincts. Our society has changed from one built on religion to one built on people. As a people, we are less and more functional than ever before. Our values and morals are at stake, and we find ourselves committing the very same sins our parents damned as we were growing up.
Our functionality is, really, kind of fucked up.
The same man that sits in church for two hours on Sunday morning with his wife is, the very next day, fucking the nanny in the car his wife paid for. The preachers we've handed our children to have, indeed, handled our children! The men running for political office in our country are caught with hookers or on camera with another guy.
We have allowed our values to fall by the wayside, but because amorality is socially unacceptable, we push ourselves to the brink of insanity, lying, cheating, stealing, raping, just so that no one knows who we really are.
Why not show them?
HERE IS WHAT I DO:
I swear like a sailor.
I am an asshole.
I have scandelously amazing sex with men who are not my husband!
I get rid of my problems with alcohol and drugs.
I masturbate.
I drive with every emotion on my sleeve.
I will happilly flip someone off.
I vocalize my distate for people, what they do, and why they do it.
I bend and break rules according to how I feel.
I'm insulting.
I'm irrational.
I don't make logical decisions.
I have absolutely no intention of changing.
It's not teenaged angst; really, it's not.
It's the recognition that I have one shot at this "Life" game, and I'm going to enjoy every second of it. I'm not going to deny myself of basic human needs because our flawed society says it's wrong. Hell naw!
However...
I also like to sew.
I want to learn to knit.
I absolutely love the old Disney movies.
I'm a not-so-secretive Star Wars fan.
Batman, too.
I like shopping for home goods when I'M shopping for home goods.
I love to cook and bake.
I have all my children's names picked out, as well as their personalities, futures, and careers.
Once again, welcome.
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i like this.
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